Sharing in a Practicing Presence Group

One of the important outcomes of being in a Practicing presence group is what each person can learn from other members of the group by expressing their personal experience with the concept of presence. This process can also become an ego trip of telling how we can do it, whatever “it” may be, better than anyone else. Or it could become a forum for telling our life story or reliving our wounds . Both of these would be destructive to the purpose of the group.

It is constructive for individuals in the group when the participants share the “what” and “how” of their experience of the practice of presence during the past week or what facilitated the practice for us and what hindered it. To do this in a productive way for this group will require a change in the way we normally interact or work in groups. The following concepts may be helpful to consider as we express our experience with presence.

Try to stay away from identifying with mind positions or differences or telling someone what is the right thing for them to do, getting into our story, or giving the “answer”. After you express an idea, move back into silence or thoughtless awareness and dis-identify with your mind position. Notice the end of your present thought stream. Do not just continue in another stream of thought; express your idea clearly and succinctly and then go back into silence and stillness and be present with the group. Listen with openness in a perceptive way and, if possible, without either a positive or a negative reaction. Listen to the other with openness and spaciousness as they are speaking, without an answer or response being created in your head. Your mind will always want to create an answer to show it exists and that it is important. The challenge is to always be aware of the mind and the “little me” that says “my viewpoint matters”. As Byron Katie says, it is often helpful to ask yourself these questions:

Do you really know what you say is true?

Are you sure that it is true?

What would it mean to you if it were not true?

Whatever your thoughts are, put the spaciousness of silence around them and see them as merely a preference, one point of view among many others. The words or thoughts always point to something beyond itself. That ineffable “something” comes out of the silence. Let your response form within the space of silence. Hold the idea in silence so that what is there in essence may be felt and then expressed in words. Then move back into silence and presence.

Developing awareness in a group setting is helpful to waking up. The group, by being present, and holding that space, gives intention, support, direction and power to our conscious actions. The group can become a dynamic force through which change can occur, even when we are not fully aware of all of the causative factors of our behavior.

By ourselves, we often can do little to change. We are taught to hide what we consider the less attractive parts of ourselves.

The group can become the “mirror” which reflects the parts of ourselves that are hidden or those that we may be unaware. Seeing ourselves through the responses of others to us can help us to be aware of the veiled parts of ourselves.

Seeing ourselves in different settings also helps. A part of us that we can cover up, or may not want to express in our normal activities, may now show itself. This awareness gives us the possibility of re-owning the energy of this, possibly dis-owned part, and integrating it into our life. Besides, healing or becoming whole, is usually a two- person process. (It may be just between you and God). When we can make contact and engage with another person, in presence and without judgments, healing can take place.

Be aware that in this process one can get seduced into the other person’s pain body energy by emotionally identifying with what someone else expresses. Be aware that your pain body can also be triggered by the other persons’ reaction, and you may respond with restlessness, boredom, anger, defensiveness, wanting to give them the answers etc. Watch for your egoic “entity” and the pain body and know that when you respond to them, you move from presence to being reborn into form.

There is no requirement that you speak in the group. Some people best express their life energy through silence and this will be respected. Know, however, that your verbalized experience is a pointer to something that may be special and important to other members of the group. Only you can know and express your experience. When you keep it to yourself, we all may have lost something inimitable.

Martha Graham, the dancer, says it this way, speaking of one’s creative expression:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action; and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. You must keep that channel open. It is not for you to determine how good it is, nor how valuable. Nor how it compares with other expressions. It is for you to keep it yours, clearly and directly”

“O”, Nov. 2001

I believe that the above is true of our mystical experience as well. There is aliveness, peace and presence in each of us. Unless you express your unique experience of how presence is manifested in your life, that experience will be lost to the group and the world. Spiritual growth is a challenging and life changing process. The fact that you are here in this group means that you have begun to awaken to your true Being. We are together on this sacred path and need the support and the assistance of the other on our journey. Expressing our personal experience in the group, through your verbal or silent presence, is one method to reinforce our growth, increase the clarity of presence in the group and raise the quality of energy available to us and to the other members of the group.

“Holding” the silent space of presence, becoming aware that you can be present in the “now” with your essence, while also being with the other, is both the process and the non-goal of the group.